the belly chronicles

pause for emphasis

2008-06-17T17:03:00.002-06:00

I'd like to share a few final thoughts before I end The Belly Chronicles.

Don't fret, I'm starting a new blog. It just doesn't seem right to keep The Chronicles going after The Belly has come and gone.. but I digress.

Down to the nitty gritty; labor and delivery.

Nothing went as I had planned, hoped or imagined.

And I think that is the point.

I tried everything to get baby Ray to come on his own. I ate spicy food, I went on a long hike, I watched funny movies, I walked everywhere, I meditated and visualized, I even tried taking black and blue cohosh, we tried "that which got us into this mess in the first place" and nothing worked. I was getting very discouraged and starting to worry that something was wrong. Everyday that went past was one day closer to "The Induction Date" something I had thought would surely not be an issue when I scheduled it at week 39. But the days kept passing...

I was scheduled to be induced at 9:30 am on Tuesday the 27th of May. I woke up early and called the hospital and it turned out that they had a flood of pregnant women and that they'd have to call me back later if there was room. Aha! This is it. Fate, for sure was saying don't worry he's coming. And then nothing... At 2:30 the nurse called back and asked if I wanted to have a baby. I told her I'd be there at 3:00.

There was no frantic run for the car, there was no mad dash back into the house to grab the suitcase, there was none of that. There was me and my husband getting in the car and asking each other if we were ready for this. We arrived at the hospital, pillows and suitcase in tow and made out way to the birthing floor. I was given (an awesome) room with a huge jet tub. There was everything you could need or want. Birthing balls, reclining chairs, a stereo, movies, a tv, a tens unit you name it, they had it. I changed into my gown (why are they so ugly? And always too big?) Then they hooked me up. I was given an IV of saline and pitocin. Then I sat and I waited.

My nurse was very nice and she explained everything in great detail and answered all of my questions, I really liked her. By that evening my doctor came by and checked my cervix, she also stripped my membranes "just a little" without asking. I didn't like that part. She also offered to break my water later that night to "get things going". I was still only 2 cm dilated and barely effaced so I was hesitant to have her break my water so soon. I had read that after the water breaks the contractions are markedly more painful and I still had a long way to go so I asked my nurse's advice and she said to hold off. I was nervous about telling my doctor so my nurse told her instead and backed me up when my doctor started pushing a little harder for me to let her do it. Like I said, I really liked that nurse. My doctor was a little put off at first, but once I explained to her that it wasn't that I didn't want to hurt, but that I thought it was too soon, she agreed to let me start the pitocin again the next day. So at 11:00 pm they turned off the juice and we went to bed. I was frustrated and still without a baby.

The next morning they started me back up at 5:00 am. By about noon I was starting to really feel the contractions (compared to not feeling anything before). I would have my cervix checked regularly and my progress was dismal. Ok, that's a little harsh, but it was s.l.o.w.

Since the pitocin was clearly not working "like a charm" the only thing left to do was break my water. The doctor came in at about 2:30 and with a gush she broke my water. It was the strangest feeling. But a good feeling. The coolest part to me was that it smelled like the ocean. Like saltwater. And being a believer in evolution, I thought it was neat to think that we all have a bit of the sea in us, even to this day.

Well, after that the contractions started to hurt. Then they hurt a little more, I tried getting in the tub, but it was built for big people so it was very hard to relax when I was sliding all around. And I couldn't use the jets because they interfere with the fetal monitors. Which by the way are the most annoying, pain in the butt things. So, so much for that idea. I tried the tens unit, but I think I started it too late and it actually made my contractions hurt worse. Then the contractions really started to hurt. I had to brace myself against the bed and hold my breath and just pray for them to end. So much for "breathing through the contractions". All of my planning and preparing flooded my head ~ "just breath" "relax" "try to become one with the pain" "don't think about the next contraction" "rest in between contractions" ~ My Ass!! The only thing I could think about was dying. I wanted to die. I wanted to throw up and pass out and not hurt anymore. Unfortunately for me, this technique does not actually work so instead, I got myself soo worked up that there was no way I could ever relax again. And I was still only 3 cm dilated.

My husband was wonderful, he said all the right things and just kept telling me I could do it, that I was born to do this... I told him I wanted an epidural.

In retrospect, I realize I went into this pregnancy with a bit of predjudice. I thought a natural birth was a badge of honor and that it was something strong women did and real mothers all went through. I regretfully thought that pain meds were an easy way out.

I underestimated the power of childbirth and I am humbly eating my words.

Sure, I did not have to have an epidural and if I had had this baby at home I would not have had the option, but in my situation, being only 3 cm dilated with no water left to cushion the blows, I couldn't do it. I couldn't take the pain.

And that's ok.

I signed the release form for an epidural shortly after the 16th time I asked Luke to please kill me. I think it was about 3 hours after my water was broken. All I could think about was the quote I had read from the famous doula Ina May Gaskin. She had said that we should feel thankful for all of the advances in medicine. Now, I'm not sure if she meant pain relief drugs or not, but it was a comforting thought at the time.

The epidural was weird.

A big poke in the lower part of your back and then a little pressure here and a little pressure there and Poof! no more pain.

The best I can describe it, was that my legs felt drunk. I could still move them but they were heavy and slow. I asked for the "walking" epidural because I still wanted to feel something and I did, when the pitocin levels got really high I could feel the contractions but they felt more like really bad gas than pain straight from the depths of hell.

So, shift change and I met my new nurse. Shannon. She was the greatest. My birth experience would not have been what it was without her.

My cervix was still very sluggish, I think I was about 4 cm by now. It was getting late and my nurse suggested I get on my hands and knees for a little while to get baby Ray to fall into position. He was facing sideways at the time. I sat like that, in my yoga pose, for about 45 minutes. I wagged my tail and thought good thoughts. When she came back to check my cervix again she said "Oh my gosh! Your at 9.5 cm and fully effaced!!" I didn't believe her at first. I went from 4 cm to 9.5 cm in 45 minutes! All just by wagging my tail.

She had me flip over onto my back and with a few gentle pushes she moved the last little bit of my cervix out of the way. Then she told me to tell her as soon as I felt like I needed to push.

The next few contractions, sure enough, I could feel that pressure but it wasn't very strong. Then it started getting stronger and stronger...

This is my favorite part.

So she calmly told me to push the next time I felt like I needed to and asked my husband if he wanted to help. He said sure, and she told him to put on some gloves.

Not to get too detailed about the whole thing but my husband was right there holding my legs back and guiding the baby's head down. It was a very intimate situation. I felt very safe and well cared for. I would wish that any woman could experience those same feelings.

So we pushed and we pushed and the head started showing and my nurse left and called my doctor.

I secretly wished that I could have delivered the baby before my doctor arrived, but no luck. The little man still didn't want to come out. When my doctor did arrive she let my husband keep helping and I tried and tried for about 3 hours to push that baby past my pubic bone, but I was exhausted and I started falling asleep in between contractions. My doctor quietly suggested that she could use forceps and we could get him out.

I had heard that my doctor was extremely talented with forceps and I was ready to meet my baby. My legs were up in the stirrups and I tried my very hardest one last time to push him out but he wasn't having it. After a little pressure and some slight prodding, she had the forceps in place. I was told to push harder than I have ever pushed before. Now, I didn't actually see this part but my husband said it was pretty amazing. I pushed, man, I pushed harder than I've ever done anything, I pushed with all my might and my husband said that my doctor practically had one leg up on the table pulling with all of her might and then...

There was a head. I reached down and felt it because when else are you going to get to experience that? and it was surreal. For a split second I remember thinking "holy shit, what is that?" Then my doctor told Luke to grab hold and pull the baby out the rest of the way. One more push and Luke gently tugged on the baby. My doctor grabbed his hands and said "No, pull!" and just like that there he was. Ray Keeler Phippen born May 29th at 1:12 am.

My husband said he was really really blue when he came out but I don't remember that. I do remember that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and I watched them slip it off and then he was there laying on my chest. They cleared out his nose and mouth and I heard him cry for the first time. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. My friend Jenny had told me "just wait until you hear him cry, you'll never forget it" and she was right.

We just layed there for an eternity, looking at each other.

I told him that it was nice to meet him.

One of the strangest things was that my belly literally disappeared. I hadn't really thought about that. The nurse had me feel my uterus, and the books are right, it was about the size of a grapefruit! My doctor delivered the placenta and again, the books are right, I was too busy staring at Ray to even notice. I did ask her to show it to me though, and it was really cool. But I like that kind of stuff... Then she had to give me some stitches. I heard her say "second degree tear" but I still don't know exactly what that means and at the time I didn't care. Another thing the books have right is that I couldn't stop shaking after he was born. My whole body was shivering. They told me it was the drastic change in hormones and a result of all the hard work I had just finished.

And like that they disconnected me from all of the different monitors and drugs.

Our parents came in (and my brother too) and everyone was tears and smiles.

About 3 am a nurse came in and did all of the little things that they do to the baby and I remember thinking, "pay attention, this is important", but I was so tired I kept falling asleep in between her sentences.

Then it was time to move to the recovery room. My blood pressure was all over the place and I couldn't sit up without almost passing out and so I got to be wheeled to the next room.

My recovery room was not so glamorous but it was fine, there was a bed for my husband and a nice big window. My recovery nurses were all great. The next day I still couldn't get up without almost passing out and then I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since lunch the day before, so once I got some food in me things went much smoother.

Now as far as recovery goes. I was so sore. I was sore in places I didn't think would be sore. My legs hurt from being pushed, my arms hurt from pulling. But the strangest of all was that my tailbone hurt the worst. That spot is where you end up "pushing from" and it was so sore.

Walking hurt and sitting hurt. Really, most of the recovery stuff is sort of a blur. I remember the nurses coming in and taking our vitals. I remember the first time I went pee after delivery (what happened to those muscles?). I remember my first shower (top 5 of my life). I remember each and every meal (I was still really hungry). I remember feeling very swollen and puffy. I remember my puppps rash disappeared overnight. I remember breast feeding and Luke changing diapers. I didn't sleep as much as I should have because I couldn't stop looking at Ray. I think I was afraid that if I went to sleep I'd wake up and he wouldn't be real.

Family came and went. The days and nights passed and finally it was time to go home.

It was a very slow walk to the car and a very cautious drive home. And just like everything else, all of the sudden we were here.

Alone.

With our son.

18 days into it so far and the only thing I can say is that I would gladly do it all over again. This is by far the coolest thing I've ever done. All of the doubt and worry. All of the joys and tears. Every upside down hormonal outburst was well worth what we have in the end.

A family.

The road to full recovery has been a little bumpy. We didn't quite get the hang of the whole breast feeding thing in the hospital and mommy ended up with bleeding, sore nipples...

But that's a story for a whole other blog.

please please please visit me here:

The Daily Ray

until then, thanks for reading and I'll catch you on the flip side.

:: Ray Keeler Phippen ::

2008-06-12T21:19:00.003-06:00

Sweet Baby Ray

May 29th, 1:12 am

7 lbs 6 oz and 20.5 inches

and time stopped...

delay...

2008-06-06T15:53:00.001-06:00

my internet is down.

I'll be posting photos as soon as it's fixed!!

outta my hands

2008-05-28T11:07:00.002-06:00

I keep trying to remind myself of a story I read the night before coming to the hospital.

In it, the woman was induced for a long period of time with relatively no progress. She tried everything she could think of and eventually had a c-section. After it was all said and done she found out that her baby's head had been in the arched back position and that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck three times. If the baby had entered the birth canal there would have been some serious problems.

There is a reason for all of this.

umm... maybe someone could text me and let me know what it is ;)

week 41

2008-05-28T10:26:00.005-06:00

Well, here I sit.

Waiting in the hospital.

We came in yesterday at about 3pm to induce labor. I was on "the juice" until 11pm with no huge changes. We spent the night here and I actually slept pretty well. They started the pitocin again this morning at 5am and I was still able to fall back asleep for awhile. Here it is 10:30 and things are starting to pick up a little. Honestly, I have to say this is not how I imagined this would all go down. It's taken me awhile to accept that and it's still a little tough and discouraging at times. I think back on all the times I thought to myself "ooh, maybe I'll go into labor at ______ (fill in the blank)" I had no idea I'd have to make him come out.

All of the nurses say that according to his heart beat he is just the happiest baby ever. The hardest part for me has been struggling with the thought that something's wrong. I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself (and my husband) "why won't he come out?". I'm starting to see that it's not that he won't come out. There's a reason for all of this and I am just not aware of it. It'll all make perfect sense in retrospect.

Until then, we've come up with a few possible answers:

1. He's a procrastinator. It's in his blood. There's no denying it, he comes from a long line of very talented time wasters.

2. I am just too good of a mom. Already, he is so comfortable and loved that he doesn't want to leave.

3. He's afraid of embarrassing himself if he can't remember all of the dogs' names.

4. He doesn't like the sheets we picked out for his crib.

And last but certainly not least:

5. He has inherited his father's sense of direction.

Luke has said himself that he "has the directional sense of a blind and deaf field mouse". I'm not sure how bad that actually is in real life, who knows maybe field mice are really good at directions, but I have seen first hand his navigational skills and I suspect that maybe Ray is just lost.

i love my dad

2008-05-23T18:56:00.003-06:00

while discussing Ray's practice in procrastination:

"who knows, you're probably just one grilled cheese away"

(from going into labor)

"I am making a chocolate cake"

"well that might help, and we know it won't hurt!"

to post in times of crisis or invasion

2008-05-23T09:42:00.003-06:00

I just bought me one of these after watching this: Parker Lee

What a beautiful video. Ok now all I want is a movie camera.

Seriously, now my eyes are all puffy and my cheeks are soggy.

This waiting part is really hard.

letter no. 2

2008-05-23T09:11:00.002-06:00

Dear Ray,

Let's try this again.

I think May 23rd sounds like a fabulous birthday.

Just think your birthday will mean school is out for summer!

No pressure, but we'd really like to meet you.

Love,

mom and dad

ridin' the storm out...

2008-05-22T18:12:00.003-06:00

We had some crazy weather in these parts today. Tornadoes and everything.

My favorite shot from today.

week 40

2008-05-22T18:08:00.003-06:00

Late, but better than never...

A view from the top!

I had to lean over a little bit to see the feetsies!

takin' advice from the slowskys

2008-05-20T11:20:00.003-06:00

You know those comcast commercials for high speed internet? Well, one stuck a cord with me today as I was driving home from my doctor's appt. At the end Mrs. Slowsky says in a wistful tone "There's nothing like a good long wait".

A teeny bit pathetic, I know, taking advice from a talking, commercial turtle but what'cha gonna do? 40 weeks and 3 days.

They shouldn't give out due dates. They should tell you due months. The next baby we have, that's what I'm going to do; a due month. My doctor thinks he'll be here on Thursday in between 5 and 7 pm, Willy the plumber thinks Thursday as well, but around 10 pm and Charlotte the nurse is betting on Saturday. Me? I don't really care... Whenever he's good and ready. The funny thing is I don't believe he's "late", he's just inherited his father's (and my) wonderfully lax sense of time.

"When's your baby due?"

"Oh, the seventeenth-ish"

I love -ish. I actually live by -ish.

Who needs deadlines and firmness anyway...

ack, cen, tuate the positive...

2008-05-15T17:05:00.006-06:00

E, lim, i, nate the negative...

(this week's mantra)

10 great things about this week:

1. my studio is finished and full of all of my stuff. I get to blissfully organize and put away my supplies all day, each day. I also get to actually work out here and it is all more than I could have ever imagined it to be. Thank you, thank you, thank you to my wonderful husband for building me something so special.

2. my husband finished his night class he was taking and his hockey league is over for now so I get to see him and snuggle with him all night, every night.

3. the lemon tart I am about to make.

4. yoga and being able to talk to other pregnant women about anything. I'm going to miss my prenatal class when I am no longer pregnant. We all keep joking that we're going to keep coming to class anyway. But I am looking forward to continuing with another yoga class, I think it'll be a life long relationship for me and yoga.

5. a clean kitchen and cooking dinners.

6. all of the irresistibly cute things I've been making for Ray. I bought a couple of Sublime Stiching's patterns and I can't stop. We've got embroidered blankets and burp cloths and onesies... Hey! maybe I'll post some photos.

7. I'm getting very excited about this next little chapter in our lives. We're gonna have a baby!

8. rain followed by warm sunshine.

9. dare I say? a dialated cervix. Not by much, but at least we're heading in the right direction.

10. Being able to sleep through the night.

1 icky thing about this week:

I've got puppps.

And no, I don't mean lots of dogs, hence the extra p's.

PUPPP stands for "Pruritic Uticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy." In English, this means "really itchy rash gotten by pregnant women."

It blows.

It started on my stomach, in my stretch marks and has now spread to the whole front and underside of my belly and onto my forearms, and I think it's creeping it's way onto my back. I hate rashes. I mean I really, really, really hate rashes. I used to get one around my nose and mouth when I was little and then just around my nose when I got older. Recently, my family discovered that cutting anything with Sodium Laurel Sulfate out of our lives was the answer and it has completely gone away.

But back to my itchy belly, I hate rashes.

And this one not only itches so bad that sometimes I forget to breathe but it is very unsightly. Just the thought of having a rash makes me itch all over so it is taking great feats of strength to not scratch myself silly. Supposedly they have no idea what causes it or why women get it but their latest theory is that you are allergic to your boys DNA. I guess only 1% of pregnant women get it and 70% of those women are carrying boys. Go figure. All I can say is that I am glad I did not get it sooner. It's supposed to get much better if not go away completely right after the baby is born (if you have a story to the contrary, please do not share. I am clinging on to the idea that it will go away when he is born).

So in the positive vain that I am trying to maintain: "Yay! Go me! I am Special!"

I found a great site for any fellow sufferers:

Naomi's PUPPP Page

Sometimes it's just comforting to know you're not the only one and {gasp} someone else has it worse off than you. Personally, Aveeno anti-itch cream and Vitamin E (straight outta the capsule) work the best to relive the itch and soothe the skin. That and wearing my husband's shirts so that there is no clinging.

You should see me today, I am a sight.

I washed my hair before bed last night and now it has been sticking straight up all day in every which direction. I have on my husband's dingy white tee shirt (which I slept in) and some "I've definitely given up" black pants. Lucky for me I've been alone with my dogs all day and they like me "Au Naturale".

Now back to that lemon tart...

week 39 + 4 days

2008-05-15T16:57:00.007-06:00

Attack of the swollen belly!! AAaaAaaHhhh!

No but seriously, check out this week's outline:

According to my doctor "his head is very low" Tell me about it! I feel like I've got a bowling ball between my legs! Any day now...

week 39

2008-05-13T13:17:00.001-06:00

sorry, no photo yet. Just wanted to let you know that I am still "with child" and just a little behind on photos...

Think good thoughts for me.

and you're invited!

2008-05-13T13:10:00.003-06:00

Dear sweet baby Ray,

We're planning a really fun birthday party and it would be great if you could be here for it!

We're thinking sometime this week. Do you think that will work for you?

xo love xo,

mom and dad

for the birds

2008-05-09T18:53:00.003-06:00

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

life is good.
xo

week 38

2008-05-05T11:53:00.003-06:00

Look at that thing! When I look at this picture I can't help but think "well no wonder I feel like I am going to tip over!" And "For God's sake someone help that poor woman!" I especially love how the flash on the camera accentuates my stretch marks...
We had a BUSY weekend. We got all of my studio stuff moved out to the garage, we found and bought a crib and all the necessary bedding. We bought diapers and wipes and onesies and blankets and all kind of cute cute cuteness. We bought a birthday outfit for the little man (my favorite) a light blue, bamboo, sleeper thingy (I'm still getting used to all this new lingo). It is soooo soft, I would like one for myself! My hospital bag is in the process of being assembled (hey, that's better than not having one) And today I think I might just paint his room...

So any bets?
My husband was thinking Wednesday, but now he's changed that to this weekend. I thought Mother's Day all along would be perfectly cliche. The doctor ~ no news yet, I have an appt. tomorrow. So now it's just wait and see!

Here's my personal big belly 101:

xo

steady. aim. fire.

2008-05-01T11:52:00.002-06:00

Lately I feel like every day is a battle.

I feel like I have to fight to get my body to do what it once did on it's own.
I have to fight with my clothes to get them to fit.
I have to plead with my belly to make my stretch marks quit itching.
I have to bargain with my hips to get them to hold me upright for just one more day.
I have to appease my stomach and find something healthy to eat all. day. long.
I have to apologize to my feet and my ankles when they are swollen and aching at the end of the day.

I feel like I am racing against the clock.
I spend all day willing myself to get things done and at the end of the day I am exhausted.
I feel like I am in a constant state of hurry up and wait.
I really hate that feeling.

More so, I feel like I have an audience.
A whole gymnasium full of people cheering me on while eagerly awaiting the next morsel of news.
I don't like discussing my cervix with strangers.

I feel like everywhere I go, people are staring and I hate being the center of attention.

I feel like a wild animal. I feel like I need to dig my den and disappear until the baby is born.
It's not that I don't want to share our joy with anyone. I'm just feeling a little too exposed and very protective right now. I know that there are no explicit expectations of me but I can't help but feel the pressure of everyone watching and waiting in the wings.

Maybe I need a vacation.
Maybe I should go back to bed.

xo

week 37 + 3 days

2008-05-01T11:42:00.003-06:00

stu.. stu.. studio (a tribute to phil collins)

2008-04-29T09:55:00.003-06:00

Update!
So we finished the texturing and painted the walls this weekend.
It. Is. So. Awesome.

Texture.

Paint.

We used a new, non-toxic, NO VOC paint from home depot and it is great! No smell at all and the coverage and colors available are really beautiful. I'm going to use some of the other colors around the house! This color is called "Ray of Hope" I thought that was appropriate. It's a lovely, yummy shade of yellow. I kept joking that I wanted to lick the walls, (my husband said I could...)

So, our dogs have a habit of getting messy whenever we let them in the studio while we are working.
When we were hanging the drywall Bob and Lucky would come in and eat the scraps off the floor and when the scraps were gone, they would lick the floor (don't worry, it's not harmful to them).
So, there we were painting the walls on Sunday morning and the dogs were out in the yard and would not stop barking so we let them in the studio.

Lucky promptly went and sat against the wall I had just finished painting.

Mick came over and leaned (he's a leaner) against a wet wall.

And Bob, my darling Bob. Walks right in and starts licking the walls. I am not kidding, I was laughing so hard. So then he comes over and sniffs the paint tray and takes a big slurp! We were hysterical! Then he licked his nose and got paint all over his nose... It was priceless.

Next on the agenda, baseboard, insulate the attic, finish the electrical and get our final inspection. We'll be moving stuff in this weekend!

xo

everyone who's easily amused raise your right foot

2008-04-24T14:10:00.001-06:00

try this:
1. raise your right foot and make clockwise circles
2. now draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand

he he he

xo

hee hee hee whooooo

2008-04-24T07:49:00.002-06:00

So we went to our childbirth class last night and all and all it went good.
There wasn't much new information (I've read a lot of stuff) and all of the other couples in the class aren't due until June (felt a little like a major procrastinator), but there were a couple tips and just some general stuff about the hospital I didn't know. We watched the dreaded live vaginal birth video, but it wasn't as bad as I remember it being. Big difference between being pregnant and watching a baby's head crown and being 15 years old, sitting in health class with your friends...

Our teacher is one of the nurses at my doctor's office and a massage therapist and a doula, so like I said there were some good little tips. Like did you know that the scent of peppermint oil will relieve nausea? She also showed us some different pressure points to have our partner massage and we practiced "breathing through the pain" with a bag of ice on our arms.
The best part though was when my sweet, sweet husband surprised me and signed me up for a massage. She has a table that the belly part comes out of which means I GET TO LAY ON MY FRONT SIDE AGAIN!!
I'm very excited, if you couldn't tell...

Other than that, yoga was awesome yesterday. I went in feeling a little fragile (I had gotten myself pretty worked up the night before and I didn't sleep well) and I swear, my teacher is the greatest, she's a mind reader. We did the cleansing breath exercise that I love. You sit on the floor with your fingertips touching the ground next to you, like roots, and then you breath in through your heart center and imagine the breath traveling up your throat and into your forehead, on the exhale you imagine that breath washing over your forehead and down your shoulders and out your finger tips. It is such a great way to get rid of any residual "dirt" you've accumulated in your head. So we did that, followed by lots of yummy spine work and then we did a whole series of warrior poses. I left class feeling much better!

Saturday is 37 weeks.
Sweet baby Ray will finally be ripe!
So I guess he just has to decide what day he wants his birthday to be...

xo

week 36

2008-04-22T10:13:00.004-06:00

I was without my camera this weekend but we will get a week 36 and-one-half, shot today.

xo

i wish you could hear me laughing

2008-04-15T18:53:00.004-06:00

just call me chunky chunk

2008-04-15T13:46:00.002-06:00

I had my first weekly doctor's appointment today and I have gained 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks!

That's a personal best.

People keep saying things like: "you're about to pop" and "you're probably due any day now, huh?" and I still have one month (or so) to go.
You know this last part is really fun, in it's own way too. I don't feel quite as cute as I did say, 3 months ago, but in my humble and totally personal opinion, I think my belly is gorgeous. I am going to draw some sort of beautiful and intricate henna design on it one of these days. My own little temporary tattoo (because I am 27 and I still can't get over breaking my parents' last rule; there were only three: no smoking, no piercings and no tattoos). Speaking of tattoos I had a dream the other night that I got this awesome lion tattooed across my back only he wasn't scary at all, he was just relaxed and loungin' and looking all powerful. I think it was a metaphor for feeling courageous... Anyway the weird part was that Sweet Pea, from Project Runway, was the one giving me the tattoo... ok, let's not analyze this one too much.

On another note I'm going to make myself a t-shirt that reads: "Basketball Smuggler"

Whadda ya think?

xo

last but not least

2008-04-14T19:28:00.001-06:00

studio update

2008-04-14T19:20:00.003-06:00

Yay! Look at all of this progress!

storage closet

start of drywall

starting to tape

Ahhh...

xo

week 35

2008-04-14T18:49:00.003-06:00

seriously, look at this:

That is a whole lotta belly!

I had this whole thing planned where I was going to write about this pregnancy in retrospect. You know, what I've learned so far and the silly things I worried about in the beginning, but here I am at the computer, and I can't remember one of the things I wanted to say. It was going to be sentimental and deep, I remember that much... (ah, pregnancy brain, how I love you)

All I really have to say this week is that we have not packed a bag for the hospital yet.
We haven't taken our "childbirth class" and we have not toured the hospital.

And we are perfectly ok with that.

xo

questions

2008-04-11T16:21:00.003-06:00

do you ever feel like you've been invited to a party that everyone can't stop talking about but no one gave you the directions on how to get there?

I'm sort of feeling that way today.

This reminds me of how I felt at the very beginning of my pregnancy. A little alone, a little unsure. I've started reading a new book and it shall remain nameless until I get a few more chapters under my belt but so far it's pretty good. This sums it up nicely:

"Through soul searching
and listening more deeply
to the women I was working with,
I finally understood that women
have to prepare for birth
in their heart and soul,
not their head.
And that giving birth is something a woman does
in her body,
not in her head."

I also like this quote:
"If you bring forth that which is within you,
what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you,
what you do not bring forth will destroy you."
-Gospel of St. Thomas

So I am asking for your help. I want to create (and share) a virtual birth quilt.
Send me your birth stories (whatever that means to you) and then we can all share them and look at what a pretty collection of accomplishments they make.

Here's one of my favorites from my new book. This is the story of Fina, a family maid in the 50's and 60's.

"When her first two children were born, she lived in a rural area in central Brazil, in the state of Minas Gerais. She worked in the fields and went into labor while picking and harvesting, but went right on working because she knew she would have the labor pains anyway, so she might as well work until the water broke. When her water broke, she walked home and gave birth."

This one makes me smile because it takes all of the mystery and the secrecy out of having a baby and boils it down to the simple idea of giving birth. No decisions to be made about what drugs to use or avoid, no doctors trying to sway you one way or another. No know-it-all outsiders trying to prove that they did it best. Just the basics. There was a woman, she had a baby in her belly. The baby decided it was time to come out. The End.

So send me your stories and then we can all sit down with a cup of tea and enjoy them together.

xo

i heart you

2008-04-11T10:11:00.001-06:00

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
(Billy - age 4)

week 34

2008-04-08T20:56:00.003-06:00

we took this one really early in the morning so the lighting is definitely not the greatest but here it is; my ginormous belly. I think it's already doubled in size since we took this picture. It sure feels like it has.

Life is just truck, truck, trucking by. I feel great, pretty tired by the end of the day but great. It's hard not to notice how large my belly is and other people are noticing too. People keep asking me "when are you due?" and every time I think they're saying "what do you do?" (I tend to forget I'm pregnant when I'm in public). Just the other day, the girl at the coffee shop asked me "when are you due?" and I thought she said "what do you do?" just out of the blue like that so I said "sorry, what?" and she said "oh my god, I am so sorry, you are pregnant aren't you?"

I felt like such a tool.

Ha ha! I finally fell asleep while standing up.

He always makes me laugh when we take these photos. It's like posing for Austin Powers!

In other news, I have been searching high and low for a great thin crust pizza recipe and I found one. Now this may sound strange but just follow these steps:

1. Preheat a pizza stone (it's best with a pizza stone) at 450 degrees for at least 15 minutes. Get it nice and hot.

2. Take a flour tortilla (I know!) Use a thick one, like mission brand or whatever your supermarket sells.

3. Use a little olive oil first and then the sauce and then whatever toppings your heart desires.

4. Slip onto the pizza stone and cook until the cheese melts and the tortilla gets crispy.

Seriously, this is so good. I was totally surprised. Me and my husband ate 5 pizzas last night! I've never liked the thick, grocery store tortillas for mexican food (too much dough) but they are perfect for this recipe!

and just in case I don't see you; good afternoon, good evening and good night

2008-04-07T19:30:00.004-06:00

Ta Daa! A new and improved, short blond 'do.

(and a picture of what I look like eating cereal. I know you always wondered..)

I am settling in nicely to my new haircut and actually it feels soooo good to not have all of that heavy hair. It was quite the salon visit getting it all chopped off. I warned the stylist before I came in that I was going to cut all of my hair off but when she actually met me I think she was still a little nervous until I said "don't worry, I've had short hair before." She was very nice and did an excellent job. Not too shabby for picking the salon out of the phone book!

More studio and week 34 pictures to come. Just wanted to end the suspense for those of you wondering if I went through with it. Hope your weather is sunnier than mine (more snow, ick).

D-Day

2008-04-04T12:57:00.001-06:00

No, not that D-day.

Haircut and color at 2:30 today.

I'll report back.

retail therapy

2008-04-01T20:29:00.008-06:00

wish list

aden + anais

burp catcher

sleepy wrap

(I already bought one in orange)

(i love this photo)

week 33

2008-04-01T18:26:00.004-06:00

Let me just sum up how I feel right now.

tee he he...

Really, I'm crabby.
I'm hungry but too tired to go get the food I really want (A big container of fruit from whole foods and chicken noodles from Toy's Thai).
I'm tired but too hungry to sleep.
I tried eating some leftovers and now I have terrible heartburn.
I can feel every pound that I weigh. It's hard to get up, it's hard to lay down.
It's hard to walk and impossible to stand for very long.

I feel exactly like Alexander in one of my all-time favorite books:
"Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."

I think I'll move to Alaska...

No, it's really not that bad. It's just way more fun to complain when you can see the bright side and laugh at yourself.

Here are some lovely pictures of my week 33 belly. Large and in charge. That's me.

Be sure not to miss these other good books:

"Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs"

"Caps For Sale"

"Harry The Dirty Dog"

"In The Night Kitchen"

aahhh... Nothing like a trip down memory lane to revive the spirit.

xo

32 weeks ~ 8 months

2008-03-24T23:08:00.001-06:00

Eight Months!

sunny side up

8 months of belly

xo

happy belated easter

2008-03-24T11:32:00.002-06:00

me: "I have cankles"

him: "honestly, you do sort of have cankles today"

me: "WHAT??"

him: "but they are the cutest little cankles I've ever seen"

xo

chop chop

2008-03-21T08:22:00.004-06:00

I'm thinking about cutting my hair.

I used to have short "Rosemary's Baby" style hair for years.

Not always the same cut but always a short cropped 'do.
Then I couldn't find a reliable hairdresser so I stopped cutting it and it just kept growing and growing. It had been so long since I had had long hair (like 5th grade). I thought it made me look more womanly and it did make me feel pretty sexy. But now I just have this long tangled mop on top. I semi-recently got bangs, just for a little change and I do like them but I'm really not the blow-dryer type and I think when my hair is long it may need that sort of TLC.

So, I'm thinking about chopping it all off.
It's my husband's fault.
He loves me with short hair (he loves me any way but you know what I mean)

Here are my main concerns:

1. I read, way back in the beginning of this pregnancy, that you shouldn't do anything too drastic to your appearance. That your hormones might be playing a trick on you and you'll wind up regretting it later... Now as I type this I realize that that sounds ridiculous. I probably read it in that crappy "what-your-girlfriends-won't -tell-you guide to pregnancy" book. The one that spent an entire chapter on how ugly and unfair maternity underwear are. But regardless, what if I don't like it? Then I'll feel a little pudgy and ugly.

2. Short hair will make me look chubby.
I've gained 25 pounds so far and even though I know I shouldn't be, I'm a little self conscious about it. It's just not what I'm used to. What if my new hair-do makes me look like a pinhead! Because the weight gain certainly has not been to my head.

3. I will have to get it cut and dyed waaaay more often.

4. I do not currently have a hairdresser that I trust completely. I don't even have a "regular" hairdresser. I seem to have a hard time finding a really good one.

Here's what I really wish:
I wish I could just show up at a magical salon where the stylists are all nice and everyone's hair is beautiful. Then the most super talented hair cutter of them all would ask what I want and I would say: "I feel blah, will you please cut my hair and make me feel absolutely drop-dead stunningly gorgeous?"
snip snip, chop chop a little blonde highlights and voila;
gorgeous.

Here are some really good things about short hair:

1. Sooo easy.
Say I roll out of bed one morning after the baby is born and I actually need to leave the house for something, say, more diapers, I am 99% sure my hair will look fantastic.

2. Short hair does look cute on me. I'm lucky I'm one of those girls who can get away with barely-there hair.

3. Short hair makes me feel more youthful and spunky. I think edgy might be an appropriate word too.

So there you have it. What's a girl to do?

xo

week 31

2008-03-17T12:31:00.005-06:00

sleepy, slightly blurry belly.

According to "Your Pregnancy-Week by Week" Little Ray weighs about 3 lbs. by now! I can definitely tell that he is feeling a little cramped. He doesn't so much gently kick and flutter anymore. Now it's more like jab and roll. It's really cool though because I can feel different body parts when he pushes against the outside of my tummy. He has also figured out how to tickle my ribs from the inside. It feels exactly like being tickled on the outside but just inside instead! I think he thinks it's funny when it makes me jump, so he always does it a couple times in a row...

I'm starting to get pretty darn excited. I had the most wonderful dream about little Ray the other night. I was holding him and he was giggling and playing with all my friends. He had the biggest bright blue eyes and long dark lashes just like his daddy.
I s'pose it's time to start looking for some furniture for his room...

Other than that, I started reading about vaccinations (taboo, I know) and I'm looking into alternative ways to deal with pain. I'm hoping to have Ray au naturale, but the only decision I have made so far is that I am not going to make myself feel bad if I can't handle the pain. Deep down though, I think I can handle it...

I think I can.
I think I can.
I think I can...

xo

cuppa joe?

2008-03-14T09:03:00.002-06:00

new mugs at whitney leigh

they said it best

2008-03-14T08:40:00.007-06:00

a collection of my favorite quotes...
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"And then the day came,
when the risk
to remain tight
in a bud
was more painful
than the risk
it took
to blossom."
~Anais Nin
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent upon it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do."
~Galileo
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"The lovely flowers embarrass me,
they make me regret I am not a bee..."
~Emily Dickinson
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"Speak French when you can't think of the english for a thing -
turn your toes out as you walk -
and remember who you are."
~Lewis Carroll
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"At the age of six I wanted to be a cook.
At seven I wanted to be Napoleon.
And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since."
~Salvador Dali
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"When you come right down to it all you have is yourself.
The sun is a thousand rays in your belly.
All the rest is nothing."
~Pablo Picasso
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
~Lewis Carroll
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"Clouds are so beautiful I could bite my toes."
~Matthew Howe, age 4
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~

I hope you have a really great day today.
xo

and a well rested morning to you too.

2008-03-14T08:20:00.004-06:00

I love how moms and dads always know what to say to make you feel better.

"It's not so much a loss of self but a gain of dimension. The trick is the definition. You may not always have a choice in the priority of the day but the YOU that is present is what makes it all happen."

"You" will never disappear; you are reflected and multiplied in all those you love, and who so love you."

xo

p.s. breakfast did help. It was the best eggs benedict in the history of eggs benedicts.

stinky

2008-03-13T08:01:00.003-06:00

I don't know what happened but at the end of yesterday I found myself in the most rotten, foul mood yet.
I can't think of anything that triggered it and there was definitely nothing that seemed to help. So this morning I am waking up with a bad mood hangover. Does that ever happen to you? Where, you just feel wiped out because you wasted so much energy wishing the world would just shrivel up and die the day before...

Here's a couple of things that may help:

Breakfast. And I'm not talking a piece of toast with butter. I'm thinking eggs benedict with hashbrowns, fruit and chai tea. (none of which I actually have the means to prepare, so maybe a field trip is in order)

Making myself a dress (that fits). Sometimes it feels so good to spend an entire day doing something for yourself. And the last one I made; not so cute with a basketball in the front. Look for it on my new pine & hanker etsy site.

Other than that I've been having scary baby dreams lately. In the first one, me, my brother, and my husband were house sitting this huge expensive house and in the middle of the night a gang of thieves (hooligans!) broke in and we had to keep running from room to room to hide. I finally made it downstairs to the kitchen where I saw my brother and right as I whispered "hey, Tay" I heard a gun click, I turned to my left and there was the meanest of the mean guys pointing a gun at my head. I felt my hair move as he shot me in the head (ick, I know, but it gets worse). Taylor yells "Nooooo" and as I fall to the floor he runs over and holds me in his lap and I tell him to save the baby. So he grabs a kitchen knife and cuts open my stomach and right as Luke (my husband) walks in he is lifting the baby out of my belly.
ooh, I get chills just re-telling it. It was an awful dream.

Then the next night I dreamt that me and Luke were playing with our new beautiful baby boy when all of the sudden he started having seizures. He would get the most awful look on his face and then shake and twitch like crazy. He had three of them in a row and then he was fine.
Not fun either.

Then last night (ok this isn't a dream) as I was out driving around trying to curse my bad mood onto someone else, I started thinking about how much I am going to change as a person when this little guy arrives. So far all I have really thought about is how our immediate world will change. The new, foreign supplies. The stinky diapers. The lack of sleep. The leaky boobs. All of the sudden I was overcome with complete sadness when I thought of the fact that I will disappear.

I will cease to exist.

I will become someone's mother.
Then I'll just be someone's daughter, someone's wife, and someone's mother.

It was a sad moment, and I think I'm still trying to figure this one out.
Words of encouragement greatly appreciated...

xo

week 30

2008-03-13T07:54:00.005-06:00

10 more weeks to go.
Part of me feels like "Ack! wait, slow down."
And the other part remembers back to week 20 and how long ago that seems and thinks, "oh ok, I got plenty of time."

I thought I'd throw in a frontal belly shot, it looks different from this perspective.

xo

salvation

2008-03-06T20:49:00.005-07:00

or is that salivation?

www.wondercabinet.etsy.com

I often find things I like.
But I rarely (and I mean very rarely) find things that make me swoon.
I absolutely love these prints.

xo

week 29

2008-03-02T17:32:00.007-07:00

mick likes my belly

gretta does too

blurry, I know

We started a new project this week!
We have a two bedroom house and currently one of the bedrooms is my studio, a small room, out of which I do everything. Or at least try to but inevitably I spill out into the kitchen and the living room and the bedroom... Well, we also have an old 2 car garage out back that we have been using for storage. We are going to turn that garage into a finished studio for me and my old studio will become little baby Ray's room!
So this weekend we moved everything out of the garage and into storage, we stripped the whole thing bare, and went window shopping (literally).
Next step will be to frame in the front and cut out some windows.
I'm so excited, I keep dreaming about what it is going to be like to have a place to 1. keep everything of mine and 2. a single place where I can accomplish everything, from making a necklace start to finish, to packing and shipping etsy orders. I will be so productive. And at the end of the day when I'm done, I can shut the door and walk away.
Ahhh..

the new studio

the old garage

xo

p.s. thanks to everyone who read my blog last week. I had 98 hits in one day!

feeling a little blue

2008-02-27T17:18:00.002-07:00

sometimes a song says it best.

xo

out to pasture

2008-02-26T20:39:00.004-07:00

I think the baby is going through a growth spurt lately.
I feel like I am so hungry I could eat a horse.
I go to bed hungry, I wake up hungry. I eat and I eat.
The problem with all this (besides the fact that I keep running out of food in the house) is that there is no longer as much room in my torso as there used to be, so even though I'm hungry I feel full. Strange, no?

This whole pregnancy thing is full of contradictions.

One minute I'm wistfully smiling because Ray is gently kicking out a new beat and the next minute he jabs one foot in my rib and does a handstand on my bladder with a double backflip dismount, all of this leaving me feeling a little dizzy.

One minute I'm enjoying the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich ever known to man (who knew smashed nuts could be this good?) and the next minute I'm chugging milk and feeling like my esophagus is going to spontaneously burst into flames.

One minute I'm bending over to tie my shoe, giggling at how my new belly gets in the way and the next, I'm laying on the floor cursing the heavens as I try to stretch the spasm out of my lower back. (p.s. the modified pigeon pose is the best for this)

Still, I'd still say it's totally worth it. The good always seems to outweigh the annoying.

xo

instruction manual

2008-02-23T22:05:00.005-07:00

thank god.
and everyone says that they don't come with instructions...

more here

xo

week 28

2008-02-23T21:43:00.004-07:00

wow the photo is on time this week...
week 28 = seven months!
The third trimester.
crazy.

a couple more, just because.

remember? my husband likes to take crooked pictures.

man, I really need a tan.

xo

258 photos later

2008-02-21T18:07:00.007-07:00

whew.
I am beat. I spent all day taking photos of my new stuff. Here are the ones I have been dyeing to show you:

ah, fabric. All colors hand dyed by yours truly.

the blues, the lovely blues.

and chartreuse, my darling chartreuse.

My whole world view has changed.
Now I go to the thrift store and I look at anything fabric related and ask myself "is this dyeable?"

I dyed a whole collection of vintage slips as well and I'm in the process of listing those.

yum yum yum

oooh, this is too fun.
xo

10 good things

2008-02-20T18:55:00.003-07:00

10 Good Things About Being Pregnant Today:

1. Laughing on the phone with my mom about "baby stuff" (Not the sugary cereals! Aaaaahh!)

2. Being able to see the bottom of my belly button (it's going to pop!).

3. Actually feeling pregnant.

4. Luke falling asleep with his hands on my belly.

5. Handmade maternity dresses and a 50% off sale at the fabric store.

6. My new chai tea recipe.

7. Chocolate. Any kind.

8. Sweet baby Ray kicks. He's getting stronger!

9. Prenatal yoga. It still rocks. I love, love, love pigeon pose.

10. Knocking things over because my belly sticks out further than I think (he he he)

xo

get outta dodge...

2008-02-18T23:24:00.009-07:00

and that's exactly what we did.
We drove up to see my brother at the family cabin this weekend. It was so much fun. There was a bunch of snow and no wind (which is very unusual). We ate, we snowshoed, we played scrabble. It was perfect. Here are some of my favorite photos from this weekend.

Lucky and Bob ~ Fetch anyone?

Time out for a quick sauna.

Luke and Tay at the geocache site.

my favorite. cold belly in the morning.

the long walk home.

I think we finally wore them out.

oh, to be a dog.

I hope your weekend was filled with sunshine and smiles.
xo

week 27

2008-02-18T23:23:00.003-07:00

getting bigger...

overload

2008-02-13T08:27:00.003-07:00

Do you ever find yourself mindlessly surfing the internet. Struggling to find something of meaning and at the same time being completely bored by the process?

I hate that.

I get overwhelmed by the constant bombardment of stimulation. It's all new and shiny and pretty and completely the same as the last thing I saw yesterday. I think it's actually pretty hard to find constant inspiration from such a fickle media. I think I function better when I keep my relationship with the internet (almost) strictly business.

But still, I find I have to peel myself away from the screen and forcibly close the laptop.

Time to go make something.

On the agenda today:
yoga

goodwill

grocery store ~ frozen strawberries

Strawberry Cupcakes (a little valentine's day treat thanks to Martha)

something I'm dyeing to show you...

sewing

silhouette proofs

etsy orders and post new stuff

xo

week 26

2008-02-13T08:01:00.004-07:00

It feels like my boobs are getting smaller, but I'm pretty sure my belly is just eclipsing them because I try to wear any of my old bras and they feel way too small.

xo

Sweet Baby Ray

2008-02-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had a birthday pizza party for my grandma in Boulder. My brother was there and my aunt and my other aunt and my uncle and their kids (my cousins).
My cousins, Jake and C.C., are two of the sweetest, most well behaved children I know. C.C. has a crush on my husband and follows him around and listens to everything he says (he even got her to eat all of her salad last night).
Seeing him interact with her makes me so excited for him to be a dad. He's going to be so great.

When we were all saying our goodbyes someone asked C.C. if she had said goodbye to baby Ray. She walked right over and hugged my belly and said 'goodbye sweet baby ray'.

I melted.

Somedays I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful family.

xo

I am excellent

2008-02-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

I won an award!

This lovely little piece of recognition was given to me by Yoga Mama. A lovely pregnant mommy/yoga teacher whose blog is always fun to read.
In return I must pass this award on to 10 other bloggers.
(do I know 10 other bloggers? I'm changing it to 7 because I don't know 10 bloggers)

And the award goes too...

1. m.writes

2. The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

3. Chakra Pennywhistle

4. Green Circle Studio

5. Full Circle

6. Tongue in Cheek

7. Anahata Katkin

All of the above are wonderful sites that can help you procrastinate away your day.

xo

Good morning Ray

2008-02-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

The sweetest thing keeps happening.

Every morning when I first wake up I lay very still and I get to look at all of my lovely dogs peacefully sleeping by my side.
For a precious 5 minutes I get to watch them sleep without them knowing I'm watching. And then, like magic, one of them will open their eyes and see that my eyes are open and all bets are off! It's an immediate lick-fest. I have to fight my way out from under the sheets and off of the bed.

Then the day starts.

Well, to add to the already deliciousness of the moment I get to spend without my dogs knowing I'm awake, little baby Ray has joined in the circus. Every morning, almost by the clock, I get woken up by a sweet pitter patter in my belly. It's as if he's waking up, stretching out as much as he can and then drumming out a little ditty on my ribs.

xo

It was me...

2008-02-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been eating a lot of oatmeal (the chunky steelcut kind) with dried fruit like cranberries and apricots, a drizzle of honey and a splash of milk. Or I'll have a big bowl of granola with dried cranberries or raisins and bananas. All of which has been hitting the proverbial spot so much so that I look forward to breakfast when I fall asleep at night.
So here I am, happily eating my way through the week. A little dried fruit here, a little more here, and a little more there.

Well, did your mom ever tell you not to eat too much dried fruit when you were little?

So come Wednesday, there I am focusing my attention on my breath. Standing in mountain pose, completely relaxed when all of the sudden...
I farted.

oh no.

I farted in yoga class.

The one place on earth where everyone's ears are piqued to the max and there isn't another sound except maybe some soft music and deep breathing.

And I had to be the first one to let one slip.

oh the humanity.

oh the shame.

Will I be ridiculed? Will I be dubbed an outcast? Will I be banned from the studio?
Luckily, my class consists of adults. Not only that but adult women, who, historically speaking, are not known for their mockery or ridicule.

I think I'll live.

Needless to say I have cut back on my dried fruit ingestion and my, um, digestion has quieted back down.
Important note to self: enjoy everything in moderation.

xo

week 25

2008-02-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately we missed week 24 (6 months) so here are some extra photos for week 25.

I just liked this picture, and my hair looks cute too.

the 25 week belly

caution: big belly coming through

ah, the pensive belly shot. A woman questioning her place in this world; attempting to define her role... Or is she just trying to figure out what to have for lunch?

extra tall, giraffe belly

If I look extra pale and sickly, don't worry too much, I'm just getting over a terrible cold/flu that had me laying/sleeping on the couch for 3 days straight. I'm starting to feel much better though.

xo

wait, I'm having a baby?

2008-02-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about my wednesday morning yoga class is that at the end of every class while we're sitting quietly relaxing, our teacher reminds us that we were born with all the tools and all of the strength we need to bring our little babies into this world. That all of this power just quietly waits inside us until called upon.

I love that. I find it very reassuring and very empowering.

Somedays I feel totally prepared for the actual birthing part of this whole adventure. I imagine myself being this strong and confident woman, totally prepared for what is happening.

And then other days I think to myself, 'oh my god, what have I gotten myself into and how on earth is this ever going to work'.

I really hope I'm having one of my superhero days when the baby finally decides to come...

xo

10 Annoying Things

2008-01-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'd love for everything to peaches and cream all of the time but this week I thought I'd vent about a couple annoying things about being pregnant right now.

10 Annoying things about being pregnant this week:
1. None of my pants fit. Not only because of this growing baby in my belly but because my butt has gotten bigger too. And as nice as it is to wear skirts all of the time I only have 3 of those left that fit. And it's blasted cold outside this week.

2. My gums bleed when I brush my teeth. It doesn't hurt or anything but I'm just getting sick of the taste of blood.

3. It's getting increasingly more difficult to get up and off of our couch.

4. It's so hard to get comfortable in bed at night.

5. This has nothing to do with being pregnant but it's the dead of winter and I could really use a little color on my face. I look dead. And while I'm at it how about a little HUMIDITY. It is soo dry here, I think I am going to shrivel up and blow away.

6. Indigestion. Whenever I drink a lot of water (which I am supposed to be doing) or when I take my vitamins. I'm getting tired of burping up whatever I just ate. (sorry for the mental image)

7. Mood swings, I've never been this bipolar. If I don't eat at regular intervals, I lose it.

8. Again, nothing to do with being pregnant, but my husband is sick and I think I'm catching his disease... in more ways than one... he he, just kidding, that sounded so dramatic :)

9. I keep eating all the food in the house and that means I have to get up off the couch and go to the grocery store again.

10. Did I mention my butt got bigger?

xo

week 23

2008-01-24T11:26:00.001-07:00

(my husband likes to take crooked pictures)

ten good things

2008-01-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

ten good things about being pregnant this week:

1. prenatal yoga (twice a week!)
2. yesterday was the first time a complete stranger asked when my baby was due
3. only one pair of my old pants still fit and all of my shirts are nicely snug
4. I finished knitting my itty bitty baby sweater
5. next I'm going to knit a pair of booties
6. eggs benedict and The Rainbow restaurant in general
7. thai chicken noodle bowl for lunch from Toy's Thai
8. the baby kicking along with Pink Floyd in the car
9. back rubs
10. belly rubs (now I know how my dogs feel!)

xo

Mondo Beyondo: part II - intentions

2008-01-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

In the year 2008 I intend to:

learn how to care for a newborn baby.

evolve my relationship with my husband to include this new little person.

continue to evolve my creative businesses and increase my profits.

grow a kick-ass garden in my backyard.

create, build and set up my new studio in the renovated garage.

find new and better ways to live comfortably in a small house with two adults, one baby and five dogs.

read more. learn more.

continue my conscientious approach towards food and consumerism.

laugh a lot. cry a little. and be inspired by one little thing everyday.

Now for the Mondo Beyondo part:

In 2008 I intend to...

take steps towards creating my own design empire. I will be three steps closer to being the next Martha Stewart, only I will be so much cooler. And not as stuck up or prissy.

Someday, I'm gonna be big. (but still small)

xo

Week 22

2008-01-15T17:36:00.000-07:00

Just a photo for now.

xo

Mondo Beyondo - Part One

2008-01-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

(copied from the Superhero Journal blog)

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?
(What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)

2. What is there to grieve about 2007?
(What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?

Question #1
I want to acknowledge the fact that 2006/2007 was a year of change and of growth.
I ended a six year relationship with my ex-fiance because I finally had the courage to admit to myself that I deserved better. I knew it was not what I wanted and I had the courage to change even when it was very difficult. I'm proud to say that I listened to my gut feelings and didn't waiver when it came to getting what I wanted. I am proud of the fact that I moved out on my own, in my own place, without a job or any sense of security and I survived just fine.
I am extremely proud of the fact that I faced my fears and reached out and apologized to someone that I should have made peace with long ago. I finally forgave myself for the way I had treated this person in the past.
I am proud of myself for recognizing true love when it knocked on my door and not being afraid to follow my heart completely, albeit abruptly. I planned a wedding and got married (two completely different and separate tasks) The wedding was a huge success; perfect in every sense of the word and getting married was the best moment of my life. In May, I lost our first baby and I am proud of myself for dealing with this blow fully and unashamedly. Now I am proudly pregnant again.
I started 3 different businesses on Etsy.com and I am happy to report that they are all three profitable. I expanded and evolved my jewelry business to better suite my creative needs and it is more prosperous than I imagined it would be.

Question #2
I grieve the loss of my grandfather who died unexpectedly and before our wedding. I only hope he can see how happy I am. I also grieve the loss of our first baby. I forgive myself for being so hard and demanding when I should have shown myself some understanding and compassion. I forgive myself for breaking someone else's heart. I forgive myself for feeling like I let old friends down.

Question #3
I am grateful for the old friends I have found and their unconditional love. I am grateful for my dogs, all five of them who bring me endless amounts of joy and laughter. I am grateful for this house that my husband built and the fact that I can call it my home. I am grateful for the sunshine and the snow. For the rain and the grass. I am eternally grateful for my new life.

Last year, I bid you adieu.
Thank you for teaching me and for letting me learn.
Fondly,
Whitney

Your turn.
xo

today's 10 good things about being pregnant

2008-01-09T08:45:00.000-07:00

So here I am.
It's 8:45 I'm dressed and ready to go to my first yoga class (finally) and it's cancelled.
No big deal, really, I guess I'll go on Friday instead.

What is it about doing new things that is hard?
Sometimes, if I don't think about them (the new things) too much and don't have all of this time to plan and imagine what they'll be like, it really is no big deal.
But other times...
ask me if I like doing yoga (yes)
ask me if I want to get out of the house meet some more pregnant mommies (yes)
ask me if I'd like to go and just stretch for an hour (yes)
but ask me if I want to go to a yoga class right now and I freeze (well, um, maybe, um).
What is that?

A fear of the unknown. I've struggled with that. I like to know as much as I can about something before I do it.

I'm happy to say that being pregnant is different.
I'm excited to learn as I go and fly by the seat of my pants. It's like an adventure. A private adventure just for me and my husband. The more the baby moves and the more I learn about things that have to do with actually living with this new little person, the more excited I get. As you know, in the beginning I was a little dismayed by the books filled with all the what-could-go-wrongs and I swear everything I read only talked about annoying things that could happen when you're pregnant. Like hemorrhoids and varicose veins. And back pain and heartburn. And stretch marks and gum disease. I still haven't found the book that points out all of the good things but I have begun to watch for them. So here is:

Today's 10 Good Things About Being Pregnant:
1. Feeling the baby move.
2. Watching my tummy move when he kicks.
3. Knowing he's a healthy little boy.
4. Learning about baby wearing.
5. Second hand maternity clothes shopping.
6. Knitting little sweaters and hats for my boy.
7. Always having a comfortable place to put my hands.
8. Big sexy boobs.
9. Sea salt scrub on a growing belly.
10. Delicious homemade food.

Remind me next post to tell you about my mom's recipe for quiche.
I will admit, I am addicted.

xo

week 21

2008-01-08T08:23:00.001-07:00

Not much news on the belly front.
It is definitely growing faster these days. We'll have to start taking pictures twice a week!
Here's a couple other ones:

Today, I go back to work.
I had a lovely and much needed holiday vacation followed by some slight interruptions (Mick tore out his new stitches, I had to re-run the electric dog fence so that Gretta and Charlie would stop escaping...)
But this morning I'm back at it.
Expect tons of new jewelry, loads of new vintage stuff and a little bit of an updated look.

But first things first, what should I have for breakfast?

xo

putting the world in perspective

2008-01-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

I had a fantastic day today.
You know one of those days where the radio won't stop playing good songs, traffic lights turn green, and every store you go into is having a sale.

Not to mention...
WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!

eek!

I'm so excited.

So my day rocked, I found everything I needed (knitting needles, yarn, kitchen jars, vintage slips) and all of it was on sale. I was driving home, grooving to a little AC/DC when I realized that there was a funeral procession in front of me. Today was grey and overcast and I started thinking about what those people must be feeling. Isn't it strange how when you stop and think about it you're just one small, tiny, itty, bitty part of this world and your good day might be someone else's bad?
It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Be kind - everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -John Watson

Speaking of, there's a story my mom told me that has affected the way I react to annoying situations. This is how I remember it:
One day there was a woman stuck in traffic, driving across town. She was getting very upset at the lady in front of her who kept slamming on her brakes, swerving the car and basically driving like a moron. Finally, she was able to pass the other woman and as she drove past she shot her a nasty 'I'll teach you' look and realized that the woman in the other car had a baby in the backseat who was choking.
That's my motto.
Baby in the backseat.
You NEVER know what is going on with other people. NEVER.
Take a wild guess and you're probably not even close to the truth.

xo

Mondo Beyondo

2008-01-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not very big on traditional New Year's resolutions but check out what my Superhero does...
Mondo Beyondo
Stay tuned, there's a 2007/2008 version on it's way.

xo

I think I swallowed a goldfish

2008-01-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

The baby moved!

It all started after my emotional outburst #5. I was feeling upset because everyone kept asking me if the baby had moved yet and I really wasn't sure, and everyone just kept saying "oh, you'll know!" (Which is a very annoying answer to me so I'll try to describe what it feels like so that if anyone else is reading this they might feel better.)

Anywho, I was laying in bed that night and it felt like a little goldfish flopped over in my belly. You know when they buck their head and tail and flip over. That's what it felt like. But that was it, so I went to sleep not sure what I had felt.

The next morning I was sitting on the couch and felt a little something flutter. Kinda like the fish feeling but a little more pokey. I put my hand on my belly and felt it again! With my hand! I wasn't completely sure I was feeling the baby because I get a little gassy every now and then and sometimes that feels a little fluttery too. But I sat really still and it felt like the flutter was moving around. But I still wasn't 100% convinced...

Later that night I was sitting on the couch again and I was telling my husband about the little flutters when I felt another one. I grabbed his hand and put it on my belly and the little baby moved again and he felt it too! We sat there for about 20 minutes feeling the baby move and groove. At one point s/he had slowed down so I started knitting again and then s/he kicked right straight under my belly button and made me jump! My husband was laughing so hard.

It really was an absolutely wonderful moment.

xo

P.S. My next doctor's appointment is tomorrow morning.
If the baby cooperates we're going to find out if it's a boy or a girl!

just a little, tiny complaint

2008-01-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it can be lonely being the first one to do things.
We're the first couple in our group to get married and now the first to have a baby. Everyone is so insanely excited for us but most of our friends are boys and they all dream of producing a little hockey team all on their own. I only have a couple of good girlfriends and they're nowhere near this stage in their lives. My tiny complaint is that right now all I hear from are women who's children are grown. I'd like to hear from some women my age. I need some good books to read. So far, all of the ones I have picked up are mostly about what might go wrong. I want a book that celebrates what is going right. Does that exsist? I just want a little reassurance at times and a little humor and maybe some spirituality mixed in there. Any suggestions?
I do believe that when you are searching for answers, if you sit still and pay attention, you'll find them.
So, here I am.
Sitting still.
Just waiting...

xo

Week 20

2008-01-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Week 19

2008-01-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

We're taking pictures every week (maybe sometimes more) and later my brother is going to stream them all together into a super cool time lapse. We're also keeping track with a chalkboard outline.
p.s.
Like how I can't zip my skirt up all the way anymore?

xo

forget the burritos

2008-01-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

We were all ready to snuggle into the couch. My husband was making me smothered burritos and I had just gotten over emotional outburst number 4, or was it 5. Our skinny black dog was laying on the couch and he didn't want to get up to eat so we gave him his food 'in bed' and giggled about how spoiled our dogs are. Then when I reached for his empty bowl I noticed he had been licking his chest a lot. I took a brief glance and everything looked fine. My husband took a closer peek and found a puncture wound the size of a nickel right next to his armpit! Forget the burritos, we ushered mick into the car and off to the emergency vet's office we went. Poor Mickey, we had to sit there for a couple of hours and then the vet came in and said they would have to stitch it up and they'd call us when he was all done a ready to be picked up. About 1:00 am we went back and picked up our poor morphine laden Mick. The wound had tore a small amount of muscle so she had to stitch that up and then close the opening (except for a drainage hole, lovely, I know.) He now has to wear a t-shirt to keep from picking at the stiches and then there's antibiotics, pain meds and an appointment in 2 weeks to get the stitches out. I tried to find the most masculine shirt I had so that the other dogs wouldn't laugh at him.

So today it's just me and Mick. All of the others are outside entertaining themselves.
Wishing you a happy new year.
xo

cookies have a delayed reaction

2007-12-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

I'm getting closer to cracking the cookie code. Maybe fresh baked cookies give you momentary pause, allowing you to rethink your problems and then they trick you. By seemingly disapearing with the last bite your left to wonder "was that really all?" "Well, that didn't help at all." When really your mind is now distracted by the fact that the magic cookie didn't work therefor freeing up subconcious brainpower to work out your problems without your interference.
It's true, it happened to me.
I am walking proof of the power of fresh baked cookies.

In retrospect, it's really quite simple.
99% of all of my problems can be solved by simply changing my attitude.

So what if the dogs are hell bent on escaping the yard every single day now. Just think of how happy they are to see me when I get home and can let them back into the yard and think about how fast and free they run when tearing down the road away from the house. I wish I could run like that.

Who cares if I don't have 15 gifts for everyone. A sincere "I love you" or "you are special to me" will do just fine.

Pish Posh, so I don't have hardly any of my hard earned money left to show for all the craft fairs I worked and custom pendants I made. I paid all the bills and still managed to get myself new art supplies and a couple of treats (new boots, new clothes).

It's really no big deal if the last 6 pendants I've made, have had to be redone twice if not thrice. (ok, this one does suck. But I have a new theory about this and now I have the time to test it).

Really, the only thing that matters today is that I am wearing my new cute skirt from pacha play, I have all day to work on Christmas doings, and it looks like it is going to snow.

When life gets overwhelming and you feel a little claustrophobic, just remember to breathe.

xo

there are some days that even a fresh baked cookie cannot fix

2007-12-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

unfortunately.
I didn't think this was true. But I tested my theory last night and even though the delicious almond sugar cookie rolled in cinnamon sugar gave me momentary pause from my problem it did not solve it in any way. I'd like to make a magic cookie. One that has all the answers, then I'd give the recipe to everybody.

I've always wanted to start a bakery for this very reason. If you could improve someone's day or hour or moment by simply feeding them something you baked, that would be complete and utter satisfaction.

Christmas has always been a funny time for me. I love it, I love the season, I love the warmth, I love the snow, I love the tacky decorations, I love the feeling in the air, I love giving people gifts, I love all of these things to pieces...in the beginning.

And then we get to the home stretch and a wave of stress comes over me. Mostly because I haven't finished making someone's gift. It all comes back down to the stupid gifts. Admitedly, I have been exceptionally busy this season with my business but tell it to the trees. No one cares. Everybody is busy. The problem is this: I'd love to say whooey let's forget presents this year. But I like to give the people I know and love something special.

ugh.

In the beginning I have all of these wonderful grandiose dreams of what I'll make for people and by the end I'm cutting corners and rethinking my plans so that I can have it all done by the magic date.
I need a new plan.
I don't want Christmas to be all about the gifts for our new baby and maybe if I start a tradition of one handmade gift for all, or one handmade card, or nothing at all but a good potluck meal. Then maybe s/he will never have to feel this way.

We all own too many things already.
Couldn't we be just as happy with a fresh batch of cookies?
I could.

xo

good morning belly

2007-12-12T09:35:00.001-07:00

Some days I wake up and I feel like my tummy has doubled in size overnight! It's funny because I get so used to looking at it (my belly) that I can't tell anymore if it is getting any bigger or not. My appetite is rather large, so all that food must be going somewhere!

I met my lovely Grandma for lunch on Monday and she took one look at me (sitting down) and said "You're not getting any bigger!" I said, "yes I am, you just can't tell right now. I gained a whole pound last month" Then she looked at me very seriously and said, "You're not trying to not gain weight, are you?" Obviously this woman doesn't see me eat... I've always eaten everything in sight. My Grandpa used to say I must have a hollow leg because he couldn't figure out where I put it all! Well now imagine me (already a big eater) eating for two. I can almost eat as much as my big hockey player husband!

Anyway on to other topics. I think I wore out my printer. I've been printing onto card stock a lot lately and I think I broke the paper feed because now it only takes in select sheets of regular paper when it feels like it. Ugh. So I have to go get a new printer today. I also poured the resin for all of my silhouettes last night and something happened. Maybe they got cold. But half of them are no good, filled with little bubbles. The EXTREMELY icky part about this is I had used my last rings for each othese different styles and now I have to try to peel the resin back out to start all over. I might also mention that I am now out of resin. Then on top of all of this I still have more jewelry and journals I need to make for this saturday~ as well as invent a contraption that can hang a larg map behind my booth... and tomorrow is shot because I am going to Denver for a spur of the moment sale...

The ONLY good part about all of this is that if I leave the house I get to go to Cafe Ardour and get a house chai and a bagel and whatever else goodies they have today.
Last weekend it was Mexican Chocolate Pound Cake. mmmmm... It was so good, chocolate with cinnamon and chile.

Oh! speaking of yummy things. The dogs (my lovely. FOUR. big. dogs.) Really like Ginger Sparkle Cookies too. I left them in the house while I went to get Nepalese take-out (more about this in a sec) last night and they ate the whole plate of them! And the bread... and the butter... and whatever else was on the counter that I can't remember...
So I guess it is time to make more cookies. Sure. I'll just whip those out real quick, like when I'm sleeping!

Last thought. As I said, last night I went out and got take-out from Mt Everest Cafe. It. Was. So. Good. I walked in and the very friendly sherpa took my order. He asked if I would like to sit down while I wait and have a cup of hot chai. I told him I would love to, but I needed to run next door really quick. I went and bought a couple movies at blockbuster. I came back, grabbed the paper and sat down. He brought me a delicious cup of hot chai and I did the crossword puzzle while I waited. It was lovely and the food is delicious and the portions are large.
I walked back out to my car, which I had parked inbetween the restaurant and blockbuster, in front of The Battery Store (let me mention my car was the only one in whole strip of available parking spots and the store was closed by the time I finished my errands) Anywho, the lovely battery store employee had left me a little love note on my windsheild.
It read:

This parking spot is for The Battery Store customers only.

No Restaurant Parking!!! (and as if this wasn't enough he was kind enough to reiterate)

NO RESTAURANT PARKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(underline, underline, underline)

I kid you not, there were a plethora of exclamation points. The possibiltities started to swarm through my head...

"Dear sir, thank you for your extensive use of exclamation points, I wasn't sure I understood what you were saying until you repeated it the second time..."

or maybe

"Wow! that's a lot of exclamation points, maybe someone with so much free time should MAKE A SIGN that says Battery Parking Only!"

I decided to leave him with this.

"I'm sorry!!!!! Maybe you should put up a sign. xo"

I hope he got to work today and it made him smile, even if just for a split second.

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind."
-Henry James

xo

ginger sparkle cookies, you're my new best friend

2007-12-06T09:45:00.000-07:00

There is a coffee shop here in my town called Cafe Ardour. They have the most delicious home brewed chai tea and last time I was there I bought their last ginger sparkle cookie. These cookies are delicious! They bake all of their goodies and when you order a bagel with cream cheese it comes perfectly toasted with butter and cream cheese.
I can't justify driving there every morning so I bought my own chai tea, and this morning I tried my hand at my own ginger sparkle cookies. Neither are the same, but a close substitute until I drive back into town.

This recipe makes a ton of cookies, so unless you want to share with the whole neighborhood (hey, why not?) you should 1/2 it.

Ginger Sparkle Cookies
1 1/2 C Butter
2 C Sugar
2 Eggs
1 C Molasses
1 t Vanilla

4 1/2 C Flour
4 t Baking soda
2 t Baking powder
1 t salt
2 t cinnamon
1 t cloves
1 t ginger

1. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar with a hand mixer - add other wet ingredients and mix.
2. Add dry ingredients and mix thoroughly. The dough should be easy to handle and not sticky - add flour if necessary. The dough should not be dry.
3. Shape dough into one inch balls and roll in sugar.
4. Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet @ 350 degrees for 10 minutes - Cool and enjoy!

xo

Handmade = Made With Love

2007-12-02T16:54:00.000-07:00

Good Evening All!
I hope this first weekend of december has treated you all well. I don't know what my deal is lately, but I am so excited for Christmas this year. Not for the gifts or even all of the candy (ok maybe I'm a little excited about the candy) but just the season makes me happy this year. We got our tree yesterday and I finished decorating it today. I think, quite possibly, it is the cutest tree I have ever seen. Those of you who know me, know that I have a penchant for 'charlie brown' trees, and this one does not disappoint!

I'm also really excited to try and make this a handmade holiday. I'd love to be able to make everyone their gifts or at least buy them from local craft fairs or Etsy.com for that matter. Speaking of craft fairs, here's a rundown of the shows I will be at. Come see me if you're in town!

Friday December 7th and 8th
Fine & Funky Holiday Craft Fair
Inside the Opera Galleria in downtown Fort Collins

Saturday December 15th
Freeze! Fashion Denver's Holiday Market
Located at the Hot House on Larimer in Denver

Saturday the 22nd and Sunday the 23rd
The Bellvue Store, right around the corner in Beautiful Bellvue

Back to my point.
I watched the Grinch the other day and I really love that movie. I'll leave you with this:

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?" "It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!" "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store." "Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

xo

Warning! this blog has been taken over... along with every other part of my life

2007-11-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

The belly chronicles... What on earth could this woman be talking about?

Is she thinking of herself as the new Santa Claus? - no
Did she recently take up belly dancing? -no
Is she devoting her life to helping starving children? - very sad, but no
Did she eat too much last night? - no
Uh oh, gastro-intestinal disorders? - no
New piercings? - no
Tape worms? - no

FOR GOD'S SAKE WOMAN WHAT IS IT?

By Golly! I believe they call that a 'baby bump'.

There.
Now do you all understand why I've been just a teeny bit distracted?
I'm very sorry. I wanted to share the news with you right away but I'm a little superstitious. So, every time I sat down to write about something nothing would come but baby thoughts. Well now, whether you all like it or not this blog will be hijacked by baby thoughts, pregnant mumblings and mommy worries.
I hope that's ok. It'll be interesting. I promise.

Until the next post, Happy Birthday to me!
And Happy December to you!

xo

Blog like you mean it. Take three?

2007-11-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

ooooh. I am in so much trouble.
I had this blog thing going so well and I had people actually reading it and then...
I blew it.
I'm sorry.
What can I say? I got really really busy and I forgot to take pictures and then I felt like a post without a picture isn't worth posting.
I'm still really busy so we'll see if I can keep this going... again.

xo

off to the cock fight

2007-10-23T11:53:00.001-06:00

Me and my dad pulled up behind this guy on our way home from texas, outside kit carson. And at the exact same time we turned to each other and said "That's a rooster!"

xo

busy busy bee

2007-10-20T10:09:00.000-06:00

I have been crazy taking photos of all the cool stuff I bought down in Texas and then editing the photos and now I am starting to list everything on etsy. Whew! On top of that I have stores wanting to order jewelry, I have a BIG magazine wanting to do an article on my silhouette necklaces (eek) and of course there's all the normal life stuff like laundry and dishes and dog hair everywhere...
But life is good. I can't complain. I like being busy. I have a crop of new ideas rollling around the old noggin for christmas stuff!

I got my first taste of winter last weekend. We went up to my cabin in the woods and stayed the night and when we woke up in the morning there was 6 inches of snow!! It was GORGEOUS!

My brother, Taylor in the canoe.

My husband fishing.

My brother fishing.

The boys ended up catching a brookie and a rainbow (trout that is). We took them home and I cooked them for dinner the next night and they were so good. Even my husband liked them and he hates fish.
xo

heroes and ribs

2007-10-05T17:00:00.000-06:00

I apologize for not writing more often but I cannot express to you, my lovely audience, how dadgum hot it is down here. By the end of the day we stumble back to the hotel, take cold showers and fall asleep. I would love to write little bits about funny things that happen, funny things that people say, funny things that people wear, but my brain has been seared by the unrelenting Texas sun.

But tonight I will tell you a story (or two).

Last night we ate dinner with Sharon and John at the lovely sack lunch airstream. They grilled up some delicious p.i.g. and chicken. With fresh vegetables and salad, and artichoke dip and cowboy candy dip. It was so much fun. We ate good food and sat around and told stories and laughed.

Tonight we were lucky enough to get some of Shorty's ribs before they sold out. He cooks them up out behind the office, only on Fridays and when they're gone, they're gone. He doesn't charge anything for the food but takes donations. We're going to pig out (pun totally intended) and watch the first season of heros.

Every night on the drive home we count the frogs and toads that jump out in front of the truck and last night we made it to five when we got bonus points for seeing a momma raccoon and her 4 babies. The frog record is fifteen.

We have a huge spider that lives at the top of our porch, I think her name is Charlotte and every morning and every night we have to disturb her web to put up the rain guards (tarps) and I think she's starting to get mad. We don't know what kind of spider she is but she huge and very brightly colored. Some people call her a banana spider.

We have a new colony of fire ants that just sprung up in the lawn out front of our porch. They are evil.

I met a lovely pair of gentlemen (not like that) this afternoon. I bought a bunch of old pictures from them and while I sat there and sorted through all of the tubs they tried to guess my name. They still haven't figured it out.

I've bought all sorts of wonderful things to sell on etsy and make jewelry with. I came down here with my resin pendants and some old opticians lens pendants and my usual recycled vintage stuff and I've almost sold out!! Thank you Texas!

xo

trick or treat

2007-09-30T08:17:00.000-06:00

Halloween is right around the corner. Well, maybe down the block and to the right
but I digress (I've always liked that phrase).
I need a good costume. I haven't really gotten into Halloween for years even though it is one of my favorite holidays.

In the past I have been a ballerina, a cowgirl (more than once), a person who could dance with themself (I was half girl, half boy) I was wearing a suit and half a tie on one side and a pretty pink dress with tights on the otherside, it was awesome! I've been a pixie, a farmer, and a frozen vampire. But this year? I need something good...

I wish I had photos to go with this part, but here are some of the best costumes I've ever seen or heard about:

Glowstick stick person. (you can search youtube for an example.)
Last year I saw a guy wearing a wrapped box with a big tag on it that said "To: Women From: God"
I just read about a guy dressing all in grey with cotton balls glued to himself and carrying a squirt bottle, he was "partly cloudy with a chance of rain"
I saw a woman a few years ago who was dressed in black with numbers all over herself, she was "somebody you could count on"

Who are you going to be?

xo

welcome to giddings

2007-09-28T22:17:00.001-06:00

We have arrived.
11:21 pm
A balmy 76 degrees.
Giddings high won their football game tonight.
And we only got lost a couple of times on the way here.

Here's a photo I snapped in Memphis, Tx along the way.
It's a cool little town where you could spend all day taking pictures.

Time to sleep, no more drivey...

xo

on the road again...

2007-09-28T08:06:00.001-06:00

denver, oklahoma, texas

2007-09-27T23:54:00.000-06:00

Here is the coolest picture I took today. We were stopping at some construction in the middle of the night in the middle of a wind farm and my dad stopped the truck and then backed up about 30 feet so that we could play around with this shot while we waited for traffic to start moving again.

This is the second coolest picture I got today. His name is Dozer and he guards this car.

More tomorrow.
xo

a brief intermission

2007-09-27T08:16:00.000-06:00

I don't have much to say today. I packed up all my stuff for Texas and left home. I spent last night at my grandma's house and this morning we'll be hitting the road: destination Dumas, TX
Here are some lovely photos to tide you over until tonight, when I should have something to say.

(my parents live in France and these photos are from my trip last christmas) I think they look very fall-y

xo

rainy morning rambling

2007-09-24T07:45:00.000-06:00

I have been tagged
Once you've been tagged, tell 6 things about yourself and then tag 6 more people.

1. I bite my nails. Not constantly and not until there is nothing left, but just as an alternative to using nail clippers.
2. I have small feet and very small fingers.
3. I like to listen to other people's conversations.
4. I feel claustrophobic in line at the grocery store.
5. I never forward these sorts of things.
6. I went to a private school called Rivendell (named after the place in the book the Lord of the Rings).

xo

today is the day

2007-09-21T08:39:00.000-06:00

Today is my first workshop with Michael deMeng! I get to make art for 3 days straight!!! eeek!
I will post with some of my results. Right now, I am late and I haven't even eaten breakfast yet..

xo

divine intervention

2007-09-20T11:53:00.000-06:00

I was feeling very creative yesterday and I managed to make these two pieces.
The first one I actually started years ago but I was never happy with it. But I think it looks good now.

"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for eachother?"
-George Eliot

This other one was just a spur of the moment thing. I really, really like it though.

"All that is left to do is sit and wait..."

xo

tooting my own horn

2007-09-20T10:36:00.000-06:00

Take a looksee at some of the kind, kind people that have featured me on their sites!
(You have to scroll down a little on each site to see me)

Modish
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sew Bettie
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
BC Finds

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
You guys are too sweet.

Things are rolling right along here at home. I'm getting ready for my bi-annual migration down to Texas.
For those of you that don't know, me and my mom sell antiques. (You can see that site here www.chineantiques.com)
We drive down to Texas twice a year with my dad to participate in the Marburger Antique Show. Which is a part of that whole huge antique week that happens down there; Round Top, Warrenton, etc..
I'm pretty excited because I am going to take my jewelry and also my cards and I'm taking some antiques to sell that I bought all by myself. We'll see how good my eye is! And of course I get to see the lovely Sharon at Sack Lunch and shop my favorite spot on earth, Clutter. I'll still post from down there so don't worry. But any orders will have to wait until I get back to be shipped.
Here's a little something to get you in the Texas mood...

I bought that pin at Zapp Hall last spring. It makes me giggle every time I read it.
xo

I've got frogs

2007-09-18T08:54:00.000-06:00

We have an abundance (ok, maybe like five) frogs that live around our house! I have no idea where they live, because we don't have a pond. But I've seen about 3 small little guys that I always try to catch and then when I do catch them they pee on me. And then yesterday this little guy got into the house. Two other frogs that may or may not have been him (they're so hard to tell apart) also came to visit me in the house yesterday. And finally there is a big ol'e papa frog or toad (I don't know) who is the size of a potato. I've seen him 3 times.
So I did a little research and frogs are symbols of good luck and prosperity. (As well as being a goddess symbol and being connected to the moon.)
That's pretty darn sweet.

xo

redneck camping 101

2007-09-16T16:55:00.000-06:00

*Disclaimer: I use the term 'redneck' lovingly and not in a derogatory way.*

I've been camping.
For me, camping has always been about finding a spot far, far away from any roads or any other campers. Parking your car and trucking your gear down/up to the campsite. Setting up tents, finding enough firewood for the night, setting up the food area and then kicking back with a cold beer in your hand. If you're lucky enough, the next day you don't have to go home and you get to explore and hike and play with the dogs.
This weekend I got to go redneck camping for the first time. What makes a camping trip a 'redneck' camping trip you ask?
Well, It starts with beer.
Add four-wheelers, loud dirt bikes and big dualie diesel trucks.
Add to that more beer.
Add steaks, brauts, stews and more beer.
Add hunters. Hundreds of hunters on four-wheelers with guns and bows and arrows.
Then add more beer.

Let me tell you I still really enjoy my familiar way of camping but this weekend was a lot of fun. There were seven of us total. We played all-terrain croquet (I highly reccomend this). We blew up a can of beer in the fire and burnt holes in everyone's chairs. We peed in the woods. We tried to heat a glass bottle in the fire and then twist it, but I think we accidentally tempered the glass and it ended up breaking. We ate, and we ate and then we ate some more. We had roasted marshmellows and banana boats. We took the dogs to a nearby moose pond and let them play. We laughed a lot and slept very well (even though it was pretty chilly). We made cowboy coffee and used a dutch oven to make stuffed orange breakfast thingys. We went four wheeling and fishing. We got dirty and forgot to brush our teeth. We slept in and stayed up late. We got rained on and made our way back home.
The battery in my camera died halfway through the trip but here are some of the photos I got.

Our little village.

Our new tent.

My husband.

Our campfire.

And here are some pictures of the moose pond.

And here is my lovely Lucky dog.

xo

easily amused, remember?

2007-09-12T21:00:00.000-06:00

If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around to hear it does a squirrel grab his nuts and run?

giving myself a good talking to

2007-09-12T10:37:00.000-06:00

I was on the front page of etsy!!
(and I don't have any way of proving it because the list has already expired.)

'Sure you were'

Yes I was.
Uh Huh, I promise!

'What did they show? your recycled vintage jewelry?'

No, it was my custom silhouette pendants.

'Sure'

No really, my photo was right there. In the upper right hand corner.
Fine, don't believe me, see if I care.

But I really was on there, really.

hehehe
Have I ever told you that I am easily amused?
Well, my 15 seconds of fame did generate alot of interest in my pendants and even a couple orders!

I don't have much to say today. I had a very bizarre dream last night.
I don't remember all of it but here are the highlights:
I was on an island up north with a group of people I didn't know. I had a bulldog puppy and another gruff biker dude had a yellow lab puppy. We were all sitting on a cliff looking at the ocean and the strange brightly colored birds below when I realized that the brightly colored birds were actually punk monkeys. yes, punk monkeys, terrifying I know. Everyone was laughing at the monkeys and just enjoying their day when the monkeys started to sneak up behind people and try to push them off the cliff! I grabbed my puppy and tried to make a run for it but my path was blocked by a very grouchy and very huge gorilla. I turned back and ran into the house where everyone was staying and there were a bunch of people just sitting around talking. I sat on the floor and joined them (after I told them about the killer monkeys) Then a lynx comes slinking into the room and everyone gasps. It's walking right towards me. It stops next to me and the girl to my left reaches down and pets it and says 'oh what a cute kitty' then I say 'that's not a kitty, that's a lynx' Meanwhile it starts to get friendly with me and is licking my hand and my arm and nuzzling my neck, then it licks my neck and then it BITES ME! right on the throat. Everyone is giggling and pointing and they think it is so cute but I can't breath and the cat keeps clenching tighter and tighter until I feel like I'm going to pass out.

Then, I don't remember what happens.

The next thing I remember is that I am now in charge of my puppy bulldog and the yellow lab puppy. I find an empty room and try to get some sleep. I put the puppies in little, weird, bed things and we all go to sleep. I wake up (in the dream) and freak out because I think I've killed the puppies. I pull them out of their 'beds' and they are just fine. Then I go out to the kitchen and this random guy tells me that the biker dude who owns the yellow lab is missing and I say 'ok, I'll take care of his dog' And then I woke up.

weird.

I read a great excerpt from a book yesterday. In a round about way. I got some Erraticus zines from my friend the other day and this part was about an artist named Annie Yu and this excerpt is on her profile page (but was printed in the zine)
Anyways the book is called 'born confused' by tanuja desai hidier

"Those studded slippers that tilted the feet to be nearly vertical. The deluge continued as I admired the heels - now that I was up close, I saw that they were embedded with coins in different currencies, bits of scrap metal and plastic, pricked balloon and beer bottle glass. Like she'd stepped into life and it stuck."

This reminds me of that other quote I wrote about. The one about bumping into things because you don't know where you end and the world begins. I like ideas like this.
What would your shoes be covered in if they had kept a little piece of everywhere you've been?

xo